Jesus doesn’t call us to be sorry for our sins only to willing commit them again, aka cheap grace. He calls us to sin no more; He calls us to repent…
Too many of us act like I did as a kid, never wanting to deal with another “church thing” but until you are struck by the power of the cross, I’m afraid you’ve missed it.
Jesus is nice and good, loving and caring, welcoming and gentle. God the Father is distant and unpredictable, sometimes mean and wrathful, judging more than loving, a bit of a jerk. I viewed God and Jesus liked this as a kid yet I never could verbalize that thought.