“God what are you doing?”
Ever ask that simple question? It would almost sound naive it if were not so confounding.
I like rational answers to questions. It seems the more education I receive, the more I look for the “real” reason that God did x, y, and z in the Bible, in particular the Old Testament. Since God did not respond the way I wanted Him to, there must be a “reasonable” explanation as to why He chose that action. So I look for it, but I don’t always find it. In the end, I’m fine with ambiguity…
…until there is ambiguity in my life…
“God, why did you allow this to happen in my life? Why did you tell me to do ______ when this doesn’t seem to be working out so well.” I look for the rational excuse. Nothing. I try to find my own explanation, something to believe so I can continue with what God “told” me to do. Why? Because I need a reason to do what God has told me, and perhaps that is the gauge of my faith… that I need a “reason” other than God’s still small voice saying, “Trust Me.” And that gauge is telling me I’m running pretty low…
Perhaps there is no reason. Would I be fine with that? Would you? If God calls you to go out on a limb would you do it? How about give everything that’s in your wallet to some cause, charity, or homeless woman on the side of the road? Everything. Would you? Would I?
I am not so good at following without excuse. And when I do, I ask continually, “God, what are you doing?” I think I ask this because I’m not so sure if God knows what He’s doing all the time. I take heart that even Job in the Bible eventually questioned God. But there has to be a better way.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7 NKJV
I don’t believe in blind faith. I feel that we must pursue knowledge of the Bible and of natural laws the best we can in order to find out what God has truly revealed to us. But there forever will be an element of faith that is not seen; to trust in God whom we have no control over or fully understand.
Maybe this is why the disciples, though walking with Jesus for 3 years, still doubted even after Jesus was resurrected!
“So God, I don’t know what you’re doing, or why you’ve called me to do this, but I’m trusting you the best I can. And that’s all that I can do. I pray you will help me with the rest.”
“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” – Mark 9:24b